


Si Seulement

by MasochisticHero



Series: Impasse [3]
Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Art, Artist Kieran White, Bittersweet, Drawing, F/M, Fluff, Office Romance, Romance, TURN ON CREATOR SKIN!, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23896621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasochisticHero/pseuds/MasochisticHero
Summary: It was a simple office Art Competition. And Archivist Kieran White, the newest addition to the 11th precinct, decided to join.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Series: Impasse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720294
Comments: 10
Kudos: 183





	Si Seulement

**Author's Note:**

> "Si Seulement" is French for "If Only."
> 
> Impasse is a collection of stories within the same timeline. Best read it all to enjoy it better.
> 
> [Impasse Table of Contents](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221365/chapters/58354228)
> 
> OST while reading: [UNE PROMENADE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRZRg_IjIQ) by [Sophism](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfAaaSEJvCIGq9cfWvHqwIw).
> 
> _Loop the music ♥_

It has been a few slow weeks since Kieran White first stepped into the 11th precinct to become the newest archivist. And the newest undercover agent of the Phantom Scythe. A fantastic job, really, if not for the fact that he was here to hunt his own head. And of course, his partner’s: Officer Lauren Sinclair.

Fortunately, things have been better between him and Lauren since he saved her during the stubborn officer’s attempted infiltration in Carmine Camelia. If anything, their turbulent relationship came to a peaceful rhythm.

Unfortunately, this killing Lune mission isn’t progressing at all and the Messenger was getting impatient, pestering him for results.

"No can do," he explained with a dry smirk, as Lune didn’t leave traces, and Lune hasn’t made any new moves yet.

Keeping their ears to the ground and keeping their eyes wide open but not making any moves. That was the only way to keep his and Lauren’s identities safe from the prying eyes of their respective employers.

_Might as well enjoy the precinct_ , he thought. He stood up from his desk and went for the break room to get his dose of morning coffee.

* * *

Kieran paused after a poster on the hallway bulletin board caught his attention.

THE ANNUAL PRECINCT ART CONTEST

The archivist blinked and backed a few steps to further read the rest of the poster. Apparently it was happening lunch break today. And there was the decent prize of gift coupons for two people, usable in random high end restaurants in the city.

He had never joined an art contest before. As a matter of fact, he never displayed his normal hobbies to anyone before. A painful pang on his chest erupted as he was suddenly overcome with the desire to blend in with normal people in this normal activity.

And it would be nice to bring Lauren to more high class restaurants for their nightly dates.

He quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. Why the heck would a wanted murderer like him even engage in an activity such as an art contest? And he was _not_ dating Lauren. The mere thought of that was simply preposterous. It was more of a professional partnership between them that he’s investing in. Yes, that’s right, he _attempted_ to convince himself. Professional partnership was what their relationship was called.

Besides, he didn’t deserve any relationships. And he most certainly didn’t deserve Lauren’s company. Maybe joining this art contest wasn’t worth it. What was he even going to do with coupons for two? He was about to walk away, when someone approached him.

“Oh, are you thinking of joining the contest, Mr. White?” a voice said.

It was the receptionist from the patrol unit’s office.

“Ms. Desroses, isn’t it,” Kieran said politely. Might as well go with the flow.

“I’m curious about this contest. Is a new hire like me eligible to join?”

“Of course. It’s an administrative event aimed for fostering employee relationships. It’s a popular contest due to the prize,” she responded sweetly, clasping her hands together in delight.

“I see,” he responded, noticing the flock of women attempting to eavesdrop on their conversation. They were giggling. He internally frowned at the attention he was getting lately. He was well aware that he was a handsome man, _no doubt about that_ , but for some reason, attention from other women was starting to bother him.

Kieran only wanted Lauren’s attention.

He kicked himself mentally for thinking about her. The deadly Purple Hyacinth was not a school boy with a crush. Besides, she might be talking with him again, but that didn’t mean that he should allow her any more, nor indulge himself further.

A laugh echoed in the hallway; a familiar one. He turned his head to the corner of the hallway, seeing his redhead _beaut_ walking by with her two officer friends, Sergeant Ladell and Lieutenant Hawkes. He forced his head back to the poster after a brief eye contact with her pensive eyes.

“The prize is actually very nice. It is dinner coupons from various high end restaurants for you and a colleague of your choosing.”

The ladies around them giggled again. Did she just say a random colleague?

“Oh. I see. Does the administration keep the recipients anonymous?” He did not like that he was asking such questions.

The ladies around them started whispering. Perhaps they were thinking that he will invite one of them out secretly.

“Well, the administrative office doesn’t really declare who the winner is, and we don’t need you to register the plus one’s name, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Kieran nodded, maintaining his hardened look.

“Thank you for telling me about the contest. I will think about joining it,” he said, deciding against doing so. It would probably be a bad idea.

* * *

Five hours later, Kieran found himself being oriented about the art contest in a vacated office. He cursed whatever entity that possessed him to come here during his precious lunch break.

The rules were simple. Just do any sketch within thirty minutes. The sketch will not be signed by name. Write the title of the sketch on the back of the envelope provided.

They will be posted anonymously the whole day tomorrow for the precinct to see. The winning sketch will be announced tomorrow afternoon.

Besides him, there were about fifteen more officers and employees attempting to claim the grand prize. Guess he had competition. But Kieran believed in his skills. He was, after all, amazing in everything he did. Be them his mundane talents or his assassination prowess.

He was handed papers and art supplies. A wave of emotion engulfed him at the simple fact that he was with other people, doing a very human hobby together, a hobby that he very much enjoyed during his worst hours alone. A hobby that kept him sane amidst years of slowly eroding his own soul to do the bidding of someone who had been blackmailing him into doing something he absolutely loathed.

Kieran tapped his pencil on the table, attempting to think about what to draw, but his hand started to move on its own.

With each line he drew, he poured his hopes, his dreams, his wishes.

Kieran White hated everything in his life. But that was a lie. There was at least one beautiful thing that he relished amidst his miserable existence.

And whether she was a partner, a friend, a companion, or probably something more for him, Kieran didn’t know. But the more he drew, the more he found himself praying to the heavens to give this beautiful woman the happy ending she deserved.

That was all he wanted.

Kieran signed his art, drawing a tiny hyacinth flower on the corner of the page.

And before he knew it, the thirty minutes was up.

A rare smile broke his expressionless face for a second as he looked at his masterpiece. He had to admit, he outdone himself this time as he’d rather keep it for himself than have it posted on the hallways to be judged.

Besides, he promised her a portrait a very long time ago. Hopefully, she would like this one as much a _s how she did the first one_.

He carefully put it in the provided envelope, beautifully writing his chosen title at the back. It was a shame that he can’t keep it, but this kind of masterpiece would look better outside rather than to be tucked in the darker corners of his art room.

* * *

Lauren noticed a number of people on the hallway when she arrived first thing in the morning. She noticed Kym standing with the crowd, whispering excitedly to Will, who seemed to be agreeing with whatever the eccentric sergeant was saying. They were talking animatedly, with Kym hitting the lieutenant’s arm again and again as she giggled.

“I get it, I get it, stop hitting me,” Lauren heard William groan, massaging his assaulted arm as he frowned. She approached her friends, who immediately straightened and shut themselves up at the sight of her coming over to them.

“Kym, Will,” Lauren greeted happily. “Good morning.”

Kym just gave Lauren a wide smile and looked at her friend through squinted eyes. Whatever she was going to say was muffled by excited squealing and dry heaving.

The sergeant had always been weird, so Lauren smiled wryly as she turned to William and said, “Uh, okay? Will, what’s up?”

William simply pursed his lips in an attempt to suppress his emotions. He lifted a finger and pointed at the posted drawings. It was from the art competition from yesterday.

There were many beautiful sketches, but Lauren immediately knew which one William was referring to. The moment she looked at it, the whispers around her hushed. There was no doubt about it. It was a drawing of her.

The sketch was a half body portrait. The pencil drawn Lauren was leaning on the railing of a bridge, the bridge where everything changed. An arm was casually dangling over to the other side, while her chin rested on her other hand. She was looking at whoever was beside her, smiling like she had just laughed at an inside joke. Her usual pensive eyes looked like they were filled with happiness at the simplicity of the situation she was in. Her hair gracefully flowed in the wind, which was filled with flower petals dancing around. She looked relaxed and worry free, as if she was truly happy and contented with her how her life turned out to be.

It was a very simple portrait, but full of soul and longing. Like a wish of what should have been, instead of what is.

[ ](https://www.instagram.com/mochitamako/?hl=en)

It was titled _Si Seulement_.

“Who drew you, Lauren?” she heard a co-worker ask in an excited voice.

A small smile formed over her mouth as she closed her eyes briefly, tracing bottom right of the paper, where a small hyacinth flower was drawn in replacement of a signature. It was a very sincere drawing. Even though _they_ have a complicated relationship brought upon by an entanglement of unfortunate circumstances, she understood exactly what message _he_ was trying to send.

If only none of this happened. If only there were no worries overtaking her simple life. If only she was happy. If only nothing was this complicated.

_If only they didn’t meet like this_.

There was no doubt in Lauren’s mind who drew this certain portrait, but she simply responded with “ **I don’t know** ,” as she turned around, which was was met by “Oooh, Lauren’s got a secret admirer!”

As she turned, she saw him at the end of the corridor, by the entrance door. He had just arrived at the office, looking like a proper citizen instead of a wanted criminal. Bag on shoulder, glasses on, he nodded as he saw her looking at him from the crowd.

Lauren crossed her arms as she raised an eyebrow. She simply smiled, her head cocking to the direction of the posted sketches, her eyes softly looking at her partner, locking her golden orbs with his deep turquoise ones.

For a few seconds of vulnerability, Kieran shrugged his shoulders, matching it with his trademark charming smile. He gave out a satisfied sigh, before closing his eyes and erasing every trace of emotion from his face.

He walked towards the crowd and greeted, “Good morning, officer.” His voice lacked its usual flirt that she was already so familiar with by now. “What seems to be the commotion here?”

Kym looked over and saw Kieran talking with Lauren. She rushed over, dragging William by the hand and excitedly slapped Kieran’s back before saying, “Morning Kieran! Have you seen that drawing?” She immediately pointed to the portrait he himself drew.

“That is a very flattering portrait of Officer Sinclair,” he declared, with only just a bit of pride, undetectable even to trained ears.

“Hmm, yes, Lauren is very beautiful, don’t you think?” Kym prodded, watching Kieran’s reactions closely.

Lauren looked at William for answers, who simply feigned innocence as he gave his childhood friend an exasperated frown. _Kym is Kym_ , he mouthed at her.

Worst case scenario, Kym would arrive at the conclusion that Kieran has a crush on Lauren and will announce it to everyone in the precinct.

“Yes, I do think the officer is very beautiful,” he responded. By now, she was quite used to compliments from him, but the way he said it, so seriously and sincerely, lacking any semblance of flirting, made the colour rise to her cheeks.

There was no lie in his words.

“That’s true, Lauren is a catch,” Kym prattled on. “I saw you join the art contest. Did you see who drew it?”

So that was what Kym was after, Lauren thought. She sighed internally, thankful that Kym wasn’t onto what was between her and Kieran.

Kieran shook his head. “The competition is supposed to remain anonymous. But to answer your question, **I don’t think I know who drew the portrait**.”

A lie. A very big lie that an ear without the gift will never detect.

“I see,” Kym continued, still watching Kieran with a smirk. “Well, I’m sure you’ll win, since you probably drew a very _pretty_ drawing,” Kym declared, emphasizing on the word pretty.

Kieran just nodded a bit. “Thank you for the compliment and your vote of confidence. If you don’t mind, I have to go to my desk now. Have a good day.” He glanced at Lauren, intending the greeting of good day specifically to her.

The moment Kieran walked away, Lauren heard compliments pouring from the observing ladies of the precinct. Lauren could only feel sorry for the women of the _Kieran White Cult_.

“He is so dreamy.”

“I wonder if he’s single.”

“Which of these drawings do you think belong to Mr. White?”

“Who do you think will Mr. White bring if he wins?”

“What are you all doing here? Get back to your stations!” shouted a booming voice.

“Oh shit, its Hermann.”

During the entire day, various officemates teased her of this secret admirer, gossiping about who might be this mysterious artist who drew her with such delicate passion.

They told Lauren that if this man confessed to her, she better say yes. No more pensive eye comments from useless men, they said.

Occasionally, Kieran would come to the room to hand out files, and the gossip shifted to which of those posted he probably drew, and if there was a dame in his mind that he hoped to take out if he ever won.

And while she went out for some fresh air, apparently, someone even dared to suggest that maybe it was Mr. White who drew the Lauren portrait, but it was immediately shot down by Kym, who claimed that he can’t possibly, as he didn’t know Lauren enough to draw her that way.

William had to shoo the ladies gathering together to gossip.

Lauren simply smiled silently as she resumed her work.

By 4:30 pm, an announcement was posted that the winner was _Si Seulement_. It was common consensus that it was going to win.

Lauren approached Lila who was collecting the sketches. “Hi Lila,” she began. “I was wondering if you can give me the winning sketch.”

“Oh, I’m not sure if the owner will take it back, but I supposed he intended for you to have it.”

The secretary handed Lauren the sketch. “It’s a very beautiful portrait of you. I do think whoever drew this might take you out for dinner.”

Lauren smiled. “He better, since he owes me for being his model.”

* * *

Kieran and Lauren, were walking under the faint stars. They were in their usual good mood, talking and discussing normal things as they still don’t have a plan to mobilize regarding their Lune situation.

They reached the bridge.

Lauren leaned on the railing, imitating the pose the pencil drawn Lauren did. “Nice drawing, by the way,” she teased.

“Glad you liked it, _mon amour_. It’s my greatest work of art.”

Lauren broke their lingering eye contact due to the sudden embarrassment she felt. These days, sincere words from Kieran seem to be affecting her more and more.

“I assume you have the coupons," she continued, successfully diverting the topic. "Are you going to ask a woman from the _Kieran White Cult_?”

Kieran laughed heartily. “ **But of course darling, you know I’ll pick a random lady from the office.** ”

A lie. They both know that he was intending on taking her to these free dinners.

“I didn’t know that my devilish charm was able to begin a cult. I should mobilize them to take down the Phantom Scythe.”

Lauren sighed longingly. “If only it were that easy.”

They silently stared at the stars, allowing a peaceful moment between them before resuming to talking about the gossips that they both heard that day.

They were still stuck at an impasse. But they were going to make it memorable and happy, however short lived it would be, before the looming disaster came crashing down to destroy these little moments of peace they have.

**Author's Note:**

> Art commission by [mochitamako](https://www.instagram.com/mochitamako/?hl=en)
> 
> \---
> 
> All characters of Purple Hyacinth belong to [Sophism](https://www.instagram.com/deadsophism/?hl=en) and [Ephemerys](https://www.instagram.com/ephemerys_ph/?hl=en).
> 
> [Read Purple Hyacinth on Webtoons](https://www.webtoons.com/en/mystery/purple-hyacinth/list?title_no=1621&page=1)
> 
> [Official Purple Hyacinth Discord](https://discord.gg/DfkfTxD)  
>    
> 


End file.
